First short is a guy narrating water sports. First is watching girls water ski, new kids water skiing, and more water skiing. That’s pretty much it. Sometimes in slow-mo sometimes not. Next up is Catching Trouble. We meet Ross. He has a Native American guide. They go out to catch live animals in the Zoo. Then we see footage of a wild cat. Then the native cuts down the tree that wild cat is in. The narrator frequently refers to Ross as his Boyfriend. He just drops the cat off a tree and they catch it again. Then bear cubs. He just wrangles the first bear and they tie it up. While Ross torments the crying bear Joel and the Bots remark that this is awful to watch. Also there’s no Mother. So we sadly don’t see it rip Ross apart, but knowing this means he shot the mom. Ross then torments a few snakes. It’s amusing to see Joel & the bots root for the snakes to kill Ross. Ross leaps into the water to try and catch the bear. They say this is all authentic, but there’s an underwater camera waiting for them. Most of these are stages shots it’s obvious. Then more depressing shots of the bears crying. The end. Feel that tingle on the back of your neck? That means your still human. Keep that.
Onto the actual movie we see a biblical narration about the opening. There was goodness, and then man came and screwed everything up. We have Robert Vaughn as our thirty five year old Teenager with well-groomed hair. So everyone lives in a small tribe next to Bronson Cave. I hate movies where the men wear shorter skirts than the women. Our hero is shown disobeying the all-important law, by going by the forbidden river.
Doesn’t he look just like a teen?
The two talk of the law and how vague it is and how it stops them from killing each other. Then about how the forest is full of evil things and The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch. That is seriously what everything is called. Our heroes’ dad is called Symbol Maker. Our hero is called “Symbol Maker’s Son”. Then we see our hero question why people sit around staring at small fires, the wheel, and building and breaking. Legos? That surely is a gift from god. A beard guy tells him about how he should break the laws and learn new things. The leader gives them a speech and they make some symbols. They are apparently clairvoyant too. So they make some symbols while the son frequently asks questions. Some guys go hunt stock footage. They shake some rattles and they find a guy in a bear suit. He attacks the father, but they kill it.

Dad has ancient surgery and the guy once gain tells him to cross the river. Turns out he wants Symbol Maker’s Son to die. The Symbol Maker’s Son gets his buddies to travel with him. Symbol Maker’s Son discovers the flute and they get attacked by a giant Komodo Dragon. Then the same stock footage from Robot Monster of “Dinos” fighting. One of the guys falls in…quicksand. They mean water. Quote the bots, “Oh look he’s invented swimming!” “No looks like he invented drowning.” Symbol Maker’s Son wanders a while and tries to kill a squirrel. He kills one next time though. Then more dino stock footage. He makes a fire on super grassy land, which is just the greatest idea. He sees a stupid guy in a costume with long ass fingers and a beak and big eyes. HE FOUND TRUMPY! Nah its The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch. Symbol Maker’s Son runs away and hits his head on a tree and is knocked out. That is funny. Our heroes’ dad gets better and goes off to find his son. At least he cares about his son. When he gets better he’ll go save his son. Symbol Maker’s Son gets up with some newfound intelligence as he makes a bow and arrows. It works too! He kills a deer with it. Dad gets batter and Symbol Maker’s Son makes his way back. Then some dogs chase after the deer’s blood. Dad comes and saves Symbol Maker’s Son. There is a trial for him with lawman demanding his death, but instead of death they instead shun him. Then Symbol Maker’s Son and lawman fight. He’s about to shoot an arrow, but boss says they have to stop. He goes to peep on a girl and seduces her with his pan flute skills.

Then a guy wanders in from a different movie. It’s a guy from the burning plain (the desert). He rides a horse and falls. They try to throw spears, but they miss and he still dies. He calls out for peace with last breath. They boss, father, and son talk about re-writing the law and it shall be hard. Symbol Maker’s Son becomes an adult now. Symbol Maker’s Son accurately predicts the movies ending. He has his own place. He’s also married. Good for him I guess. Despite being an adult now he speaks of the forest. So our hero also made the quiver. How did he get the leather? The father leaves to save his son. Lawman gives crap to the women. You know I think his problem is his limp stopped him from breeding. Then cut to everyone running through the forest. Symbol Maker’s Son meets the The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch.

The father sees the creature and the son wants to spare the The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch. The dogs maul some people. Lawman drops a rock on The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch so the Symbol Maker’s Son kills him. They find out that The God that Gives Death with a Single Touch is actually an old, old man. He says that it was the radiation suit that kept him alive for 500 years. He kept a small diary that everyone can read somehow. Well it’s mostly pictures and they were of old Earth. PLOT TWIST! IT WAS THE FUTURE ALL ALONG! Thanks Shyamalan! He gives us an ending narration about the evils of nuclear war. The End.
Opening skit is Joel & the Bots bored out of the mind during a rainstorm. They decide to make poker. Eh. The invention exchange is Vomiting Drinks for Joel and the Bots. Crow’s is chocolate milk + pickle juice, Tom’s is circus peanuts + warm strawberry Quik + a punch in the stomach, and Joel’s is Lucky Charms + cherry Nyquil. Dr. F and Frank are fighting when Frank turns on an evil machine. Seeing Frank go crazy is pretty funny! Next skit is a delightful sight. Catching Ross. Joel and Crow tormenting Ross. They beat him with hammers, catching in bags, punching him, chain sawing his tree down, lighting him on fire, the rattlesnake then keeps him company, stuff him in a box, and shaking said box. Tom put is best, “If you ever enjoyed Catching Trouble in anyway, there’s something wrong with you.” Joel shows the Bots a history of Technology. This bores them to sleep. Technology’s greatest achievement? The Flying Nun. We don’t see it cause Dr. F & Frank are still fighting. Still pretty funny. Next skit is people talking about human development. They wax poetics. Kind of thing I’d do with my film loving buddies I’ll be honest. Last skit is the Bots parodying the narrator. More importantly Dr. F and Frank aren’t fighting anymore. Pretty funny.
This episode is hilarious. The skits are funny, the jokes are hilarious, and there was a great bunch of running gags. It was loads of fun to watch and write considering that I kept using their longer and actual names. The movie sucked. It was slow, dumb, and preachy as all hell on both sides. Beach Dickerson did quadruple roles. Not only is he the fair-haired boy that drowns in quicksand, he is also the stranger riding in from the burning plains, the bear that attacks the hunting party, and even plays a drummer during the funeral for his own character. Also that clip of the Symbol Maker’s Son hitting his head will never be unfunny.
Episode Rating – 10/10
Movie Rating – 3/10
Favorite Riff – Pretty much all of Catching Trouble, frequently mentioning inventing things, Ron won’t stop touching our hero, “Roger Corman. This must have been painstaking filmed over three days!”, “Oh look he’s invented swimming!” “No looks like he invented drowning.”
Stinger – The 35 year old Teenage Caveman runs into a tree and gets knocked out.
Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3qoqkKCK3M
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qziOla3ZrI