First up is a short. Right off the bat and I can’t understand a word of what these people are saying and time is hiccupping. A man goes over stuff to do and stuff to not do. You must be heard, understood, and pleasing. Then a story about headhunters. Our narrator talks about being dull and boring. Like him. ‘She can’t be heard, she can’t be understood, and she’s not very pleasing.’ Well that’s all a matter of opinion and how would you know how pleasing she was? Next guy doesn’t believe in opening his mouth. He says carelessness is the one thing stopping us from being good speakers. ‘Have you found yourself yet?’ Wow I wasn’t expecting such insightful thought from a PSA about speaking, but no I’m working on it. Then its close ups on mouths as we see people talk. He says use plenty of lip and tongue action. This is apparently a teacher saying this to a class.

Yet another Bert I. Gordon film. This time it’s about giant spiders. It starts at night and someone is driving down the road. He looks at a bracelet gift he’s going to give his daughter Carol distracting himself from the dark road. He is then killed. Tom cleverly says, “I don’t think the movie’s about him.” Then we see Carol and her boyfriend Mike. Mike is unintentionally an asshole about her missing dad. Mike & Carol drive off to look for her dad. I love the SoL’s jokes about a dead dad. She finds her dad’s gift on the side of the road and the destroyed car down a ditch. Mike is actually trying to justify that her dad MIGHT still be alive. Mike and Carol go in the cave and they wander for a bit. They find some skeleton, but they keep going. Shortly thereafter they fall into a giant spider web and a giant spider with it. They flee the cave and report the web to their teacher. The teens report the spider and while the cops and teacher don’t believe them, her dad is still missing so they round up a party to search the cave. They also may joke, but they bring high caliber rifles AND have the pest control bring gasses to kill potential spiders. While wandering the sheriff shotguns down a bat. They do eventually find shriveled up prune daddy.

They find the web and bring the gas in. They encounter the spider and one of the guys really looks like Dr. Erhardt from season 1! Quote Joel “So that’s what happened to him!” So yeah everybody between season 1 and season 2 he was killed by a giant spider. Well now they have their proof of giant spiders. Carol lost her bracelet in the cave and while the sheriff wants to board it up the scientist wants to leave it oven so people can study the spiders. This seems unwise. They study the spider, but it’s leg moves. Mike works at his dad’s theater and it’s playing….Attack of the Puppet People and The Amazing Colossal Man. Such shameless plugs. They keep borrowing the car from his buddy Joe. The spider is woken up by a crappy band of people. People walk in and they start dancing. The spider gets up and kills a janitor. The spider wanders through the streets attacking people.

A particularly stupid lady gets her dress stuck in a car door and she tries to pull it out instead of opening the car door. There’s a humorous shot of the spider creeping outside the window, but the sheriff and teacher are staring at a wall. The spider shows up at the teacher’s house and almost gets to his family. Carol and Mike (It honestly took me a while to remember his name) look around for the bracelet and go even deeper than before. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand they were never seen again. Sure the bracelet is kind of important to her, but their goddamn lives are at stake. The sheriff once again says they should have boarded it up, but one of the guys poses a better option and says they can blow the entrance up and seal the whole cave in. But our leads are still in there! There’s a bunch of padding of them wandering around the cave and the cops show up with the dynamite. The couple tries to climb up through the web, but they get stuck (NO SHIT).

The two get trapped inside with the cave and the people are told to open up the cave. The couple calls for help so the SoL crew makes jokes about the short. They dig down into the cave and save the kids. Then they use lighting rods or something to shock the spider to death. Then they seal it up again. The end.
It’s “Inside the Robot Mind” with host Crow T. Robot and special guest Tom Servo! They don’t get past the introduction. For the Invention Exchange TV’s Frank uses the cheese phone and Joel presents the CD Blow Dryer to replace the In-Salon 8-Track and the Portable Dryer Cassette models. Next skit is Crow talking about how he’s writing scripts for when he gets down to Earth. His script is Earth vs Soup. Soup creeps around on all fours. What did you guys think Soup was a biped or something? Middle skit is the SoL crew dressed in spider suits discussing their rock opera group Spidorr. Then a giant high school pulls up next to them! NO! A space janitor come sup and talks to them. NO! The skit should have ended when they were about to play for the second time. Joel and the Bots lament the loss of cool, yet dangerous toys of the past, like Creepy Crawlers and Lawn Darts. Eh. Tom and Crow write reports. Tom’s report focuses on Bert I. Gordon’s common themes. Crow’s isn’t finished yet. Frank has repercussions from consuming the entire cheese phone. Once again eh. There are a lot of funny jokes and moments from the episode and movie. Just like Gamera vs. Guiron I had forgotten just how funny it was. The jokes in the episode were very funny, but the skits seemed to lack a sense of flair aside from Earth vs. Soup. Like before it was very good, just not one of my favorites.
Episode Rating – 8/10
Movie Rating – 3/10
Favorite Riff – After the dad is killed, “I don’t think the movie’s about him.”
Stinger – A poor speaker from the short rambles on.
Possible Stinger – “Use lots of lip and tongue action.”
Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46nS8HdWVsg
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tINr-ML_CdU