Start on the short. Okay if we know how Commando Cody was every time we’ll see some withheld footage and they’ll be safe. Guess what? The plan actually crashed and they never left! WOW! That is a stunning leap from Commando Cody. Lugosi and his assistant get the random girl out of the tree and we are shown that Lugosi’s wife died and the Captain is alive. Also the random woman is a reporter and they arrest her so they don’t have to deal with her. Okay that’s kind of funny. The Captain chats with a doctor and the reporter shows up. Then what the hell? Oh just one of the fasted montages ever! About twenty different shots every five seconds. So a doctor tries to wake up the pilot in suspended animation, but they have no success so they try to search through the house. Bela and his assistant also sneak through and knock the Captain out for a minute. They raid their own lab, but the assistant leaves one of the disks on the floor and he is almost frozen. The reporter picks up one of the disks and Bela finds out where she is. He sends his robot at her, but once more people show up they decide to flee through the secret exit. The reporter screams in terror at a spider s the Captain shoots it! The assistant runs away to buy Bela some time and he starts shooting the reporter, Captain, and some other guy. Also turns out everyone sucks with bullets so they all miss. The assistant is killed….wait stunned? He took six bullets! Bela drives while invisible and sets up an ambush. He leaves a rock at the tire so it won’t move and a disk on the seat so when they look in there the spider with explode and the car will move off the cliff! Good plan. Not sarcastic. Actually pretty good. Captain falls for it, but Bela whacks him with a stick and nocked him out. The car rolls and explodes! End of part two, can’t wait for three.
Onto the movie! The US finds a Russian Probe in space and they suspect it’s either a weapon of propaganda or information. Cut to West Berlin and we meet our spy hero fighting for Democracy and Freedom! He is going to be sent to Moscow to find some info and meet up with a female pilot. Cut to Mowcow and he waits for his spy buddy. Man the lady in the background is looks so bored! So someone visits the spy and she leaves. After two minutes of dancing the female comes back and someone else replaces her. I guess this woman is the spy and I assume I am correct because she meets with the spy. He gives her his documents and she burns them. They talk for a bit and they discuss their plan and he finds out the Russians have all the info they need to make their missile. He plans to stay at her house and she warns him about the sex sounds later on. She learns that Russia wants to launch a missile against the USA as soon as possible to attack the USA. They…they speak in Russian…The narrator tries to explain, but it really is much tougher to understand than just have everyone speak in English. Cut to America and they talk about…how they wasted their money on CHEESE. Christ Americans are stupid. Oh and spy girl’s lover is…Russian Tor Johnson? Huh. Russian Tor is going to the missile test and wants to bring the spy with him. And now the Russians are just speaking in Russian and no narrator…Thanks for leaving us in the dark. The female spy sends for the male spy and they go to the missile sight. Cut to narrator narrating the Russians and the male spy in a random ruined building waiting for the other guy and the girl. He leaves them saying that it would be easier to move around with just two. Also OH GOD they’re wooden! The Russians are going to shoot the missile at New York City. The scene dissolves and it’s nighttime. Ed Wood eat your hear out! The spy who led them is taken away and brought to the Russian in charge of the area. The Russians go out into the woods and look for the others. They wander for a bit until they find to missile and place the dynamite. Sadly the girl is shot down. In her dying breath she kills a Russian who was chasing them. He sneaks past the one guard and sets up the dynamite. Sadly it has like a ten-minute fuse. They obviously get rid of the bomb and the male spy is also killed. The rest of the movie takes place in NYC and follows people being affected by the bomb safety zones. They think it’s just a dumb drill. Very, very boring. Then the rocket gets launched and no one flees to safety zones. Ameirca sends a missile against Russia as a counter attack. Only thing to make note of is this blind guy who just says, “Help me.”
New York City has been hit by the bomb and they all died. Downer.
Invention exchange is Candy Adding Machine for Joel and Water-Polo-Foosball for the Mads. Neither is all that funny. Okay Frank and Dr. F getting super competitive is funny. Next skit is them talking about the Cold War. Pretty educational skit. Uh……Nevermind…..What’s Gumby doing there? Eh screw it. This skit sucks. Watch it. It’s SO weird! Cartoon characters, Claymation characters, and puppets go through a…kind of Cold War Theater in USA. Next skit is the Civil Defense Quiz Bowl. A quiz show (obviously) is about Cold War and they’re all clad in aluminum foil and Tom wears a gas mask. This is a pretty funny. When Tom asks who won, Joel says all of us because we like in a democracy. Next skit is a ship pulling up next to the SOL. FOR GODS SAKE! LET THIS JOKE DIE!!! It’s just a Russian version of MST3K. Ugh. This movie sucked. The movie was completely depressing and the people barely know each other. The characters are near nonexistent and everyone dies. The editing and framing suck so much where a lot of sets look the same and I can’t tell if they left an area or not! Downer ending! The episode is just dull. Somewhat funny, but I wouldn’t watch it again. Okay this episode did us some good. That good is that this is the first episode with Stingers! Stingers are just humorous end clips for the episodes, which are usually just funny or odd moments of the movies.
Episode Rating – 2/10
Movie Rating – 2/10
Favorite Riff – Tie between ‘Did anyone see you?’ “Well just the guy in the club, the belly dancer, the fire eater, the cab driver, everyone on the street, and the guy filming this.” & “Man if this spotlight keeps up with me I’ll have to do a number.”
Stinger – Blind man emotionlessly calls out, “Help me.”
Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMWO1PotmAA
Trailer – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-274z1jNUQ