Sadly like usual, we have the short first. In our last ‘exciting’ episode, we saw Ted escape in the flying suit while Cody’s tank exploded. Begins where nine ended and once again with a trick of deceptive editing. Instead of the usual “he escaped while we weren’t looking” bit, however, this time we discover that Cody’s tank did not blow up after all; it was actually the identical enemy tank the Moon Men were driving. You see, Ted flew over and dropped a grenade on them as they were aiming. After a bit of gunplay, Cody fixes their stolen tank and they escape back to the spaceship with the box of Lunarium that Cody stole in the previous episode. After a brief exchange with the Moon Man prisoner that ends with the Moon Man pouting and stomping off to his room like a sullen teenager, they take off and then…the film ends. Not the end of the episode, it just ends. Like halfway through it stops. Thank god. They were becoming unbearable. Anyway on to the movie!

So apparently the Robot’s had destroyed humanity in 2033. So then after the credits it shows 2 dudes beating each other up as other people and what I think are robots. Then one is pick pocketing the humans. Then some guy come in, stops the pick-pocketing robot, apparently psychically speaks to it, and learns that it’s a fight to the death. The most powerful slave from the fight are brought to a special place where they are “rewarded” when in all actuality they are killed so no rebellions can come about. Cut to a factory and a woman is walking around and talking to the Dark One (The current leader of the world). The two combatants don’t want to kill each other and the people demand that there be no winner. So the Dark One turns the oxygen off. He turns the oxygen back and the observing robot kills the two fighters. Saved the process I guess. Then some guy is taken by the Dark One.

I’ll admit Valaria (blonde woman) is quite striking

The guy who arrived is named Neo and is the new owner of the thief bot. Oh and he is psychic. Also this movie is shot in New York City. Perfect for the post apocalyptic robot movie. Also Neo is a half robot. I guess. Also this Neo acts just as good as Keanu Reeves as Neo. They go wander through the ruined NYC then find some Feminaz-I mean She-Warriors in Central Park. They say men are worthless except for pregnancies. Neo’s robot apparently points a gun at her and he demands a fair fight. The guy wins the fight and since Neo make shim spare her, she now belongs to him. Okay? They make her show them where the Factory where the girl’s dad is and free their sex guy. The lady working with Dark One the steps in a pleasure machine and she is forbidden because of reasons. She meets the dad and he is put in a crystal. Also the ladies name is Valaria. The crystal is a viewing orb I guess. He is brought to the room of questions which I assume I just futuristic Jeopardy. The group decides to go through underground caverns, while mutants and hand puppets apparently stalk them.

They draw their weapons and one of them is already dead I think. The sock puppets are un-scary and they make it out mostly alive with one of the dudes is bitten on the neck.

They stop by some water and I think it might kill them if they go through. They torture the dad and Valaria says the robot Torque (Observer) is going to intercept the group and kill them. The mutants finally attack and they start eating the wounded guy. After yet another fight scene they flee with the robot covering their tracks with a force field. Cut back to Valaria talking to science dad. Joel & the bots make jokes about how they can’t understand what she says, but I understand her fine.

Torque looks kinda cool

But back to the group and they arrive at the factory. Or the factories map painting for better example. Turns out the winners of the tournaments are crucified upside down. So science dad finally sees the Dark One, but we don’t. Anyway back to the rebels. They enter through factory’s a basement and they find out that they’re essentially in a minefield. Cut back to the air slaves and they talk about how the warriors have been gone a day so they anticipate that they’re dead. I guess they plan stop working so the Dark One loses power. Torque pushes a button and a guy falls down a pit and hurts himself. The dad is then merged with the Dark One. I think. One of the mutants is shown to be dead so that means Troque is closing in. Then I think Troque and Valaria have a thing going on. Apparently the way they’re going down are led to a supposedly dangerous wound. I love how the warrior woman talks about how men are weak and worthless, yet she has been one of the weakest links on this team, even more so than the robot. Then the daughter walks foreword a bit and is completely stuck in a web. How do you manage that? Then she is attacked by a either a giant spider arm, some random creature, or another sock puppet. Probably the latter. The rest of the slaves leave the area and then we immediately go back to the rest of the gang. So sex guy wakes up and warns them that something might be nearby. So Troque released some creature that’s just another sock puppet and I think he dies!

Obvious chestburster rip off is obvious

I don’ know, because they keep cutting back to the slaves doing nothing! Then the group finds that he is indeed dead. The creature bursts out his chest akin to the chestburster, and Neo kills it violently. The warrior woman touches a fence and sets off the alarm. Displeased with her constant failure, the Dark One shocks Valaria for a bit. The robot is unaffected by the electricity so he pulls the gates open. The robot is hit or something and is deactivated. They waste some time reviving him and he is fine. The robot had some explosives on him so they blow the metal door open. The rebels find some explosives with wire traps. The WW says the sex dude should just blow the path open for them by walking though it so the daughter slaps her. Neo walks him through how to deactivate it and Neo has him cut the wires. They deactivate it and cut the wires. This Dark One is extremely fallible. He is easily conquered by five rebels, his guards are weak as hell, he sets up easily avoidable traps, and his power is lost by people simply doing nothing. They fight some guard bots and win. They finally fight Troque and he gets his ass kicked. Troque just throws Neo around and starts choking him. Valaria captures the daughter, but is betrayed by the Dark One and explodes something around her, exposing that she was an android.

She turns on a self-destruct for the area and she gloats to him. Then sex dude dies in a fight before the robot kills his killer. The daughter stands around and Troque kills the WW and in her last moment she turns off the self-destruct. Damn it WW the movie would have ended sooner! The daughter sees her father merged with the Dark One and….they’re a giant avocado with a head on it.

Looks so dumb

Troque once again kicks Neo’s ass, but Neo grabs his dagger and escapes. Valaria turns the air off again and they all start suffocating. The robot shoots and kills Valaria with his laser. Troque and Neo fight again and it finally ends with Troque being destroyed with a sword, Neo takes the robots gun and shoots the Dark One killing him and the father. The robot turns the air back on and they all come back to life. They mope for a bit then Neo and the robot leaves the daughter there. They walk off into the sunset of the still standing city.

For the invention exchange it’s a monster truck pipe for Joel and a ski mask with articulating eyebrows for the Mads. Neither is all that good. The next skit makes no sense. They want Joel to perform magic tricks, but they dress up as the Huns or something. It’s not funny and it’s just really dumb. Next Joel and the bots simulate a sitcom and it sucks. The skit sucks. Skip it. Last skit is them acting out some stuff from the movie and while Tom loves it Crow and Joel aren’t digging it or having to wear road kill. Not funny. The movie was fine. The riffs sucked, but the movie was all right. I particularly disliked the female warrior, but Joel and the Bots bashed the robot and Valaria. I didn’t mind them or find her all that hard to understand. The effects, make up, and costumes sucked, but it was a cheesy fun movie. The episode sucked, but the movie was okay.

Episode Rating – 1/10

Movie Rating – 6/10

Favorite Riff – “I guess it’s a wasteland. If you don’t consider that city behind you.”

Possible Stinger – Valarai being told she’s going to be killed and her reaction.

Episode – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efof8AUn_Vo

Trailer – Sadly the closest thing to a trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsGCbw4nT5E